Soul's Song
by TardisDragon211B
Summary: Dean, Sam, and Cas are hunting demons when they stumble upon a fortune teller who is like no other psychic they've ever seen. Instead of a crystal ball she has a... CD player?
1. Chapter 1

**PLEASE READ~**

**A/N: If you are reading this thanks! If you guys want you can leave your guesses in the review section… that will make sense at the end of this chapter.**

**Set before Samdreiel in Season 8. This is inbetween that episode and the Looney Toons one. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.**

Dean Winchester sauntered with his shoulders back and eyes wary around the fair grounds, the smell of cotton candy, dirty diapers and rusted metal filling his nose as he past by the many tents and decrepit rides of the aging amusement park. A frown played at the corners of his mouth as he continued his endless search through the small clusters of the crowd that would wander into his path, forcing him to step to either side and weave around, sending a sarcastic grin to the woman who was failing to watch her three children.

_Little demons all on their own_ he thought when glancing back to see one of the little boys yank on his brother's shirt, tearing it and receiving a reprimand from the mother.

Dean continued looking around each way the dirt path went or the wind blew against the red and yellow striped tents. His hand involuntarily patted the bulge the demon killing knife made in its small sheath around his waist residing underneath the hem of his coat where it was hidden from wandering glances.

_Where is that stupid son of a-_ he began to think, angry by the fact that he had yet to find the demon he was hunting, but his thought was interrupted when he ran into a brick wall, causing him to swagger backwards, dazed.

Shaking his head he looked forwards and sighed in annoyance.

Not a brick wall, just his 9 foot tall, 2 ton 'little' brother.

"Dean?" Sam asked looking down at his elder sibling with a look of surprise.

"No, Jack Kennedy," Dean said lowering his brow in cynicism.

Sam only rolled his eyes.

"You find anything?" Dean asked, frown still on his face.

"No, you?" Sam asked, shifting his eyes making sure they weren't being watched or heard by the demon or anyone else.

"No," Dean said solemnly, looking towards a tent, somehow hoping that the demon would just appear in front of it, black eyes and all.

"Well where could it be?" Sam asked, fixating his eyes on Dean, who at the question made eye contact as well.

"Heck if I know," Dean said exasperatedly, throwing his arms up. "We've been searching this town for two days, and the only lead we've gotten has led us to this crummy place. You know I'm starting to think that this demon doesn't even exist!"

"Cas said he felt a presence, and there was the report of those kids," Sam answered, defending their cause.

"So a bunch of kids get a bad cold, doesn't mean a demon did it. And Cas has been wrong before- wait. Where is Cas?" Dean looked around with narrow eyes, now searching for their missing angel friend and the demon. _Great now two things we need to find._

"I don't know," Sam said, brow raising when he suddenly realized the trench coat wearing man was no where to be seen.

"I thought he was with you?" Dean said, more accusing than he meant to sound.

"He said he wanted to scope out the other side of the park," Sam said, remembering just then that he had forgotten about the wandering 'hunter.'

_Aw man, Cas! Now we have to find you too? _Dean grumbled in his mind.

As if he had read Dean's thoughts or overheard the brothers' conversation, the latter being the more likely of the two, the angel suddenly appeared next to the two brothers, his back towards the back of the tent the two had been standing next to.

Castiel wore no expression as per usual, his shoulders slumped in the long, tan fabric of his coat, yet somehow still reaching his full height and looking the peak of confidence.

"Where have you been?" Dean asked as if he was talking to a disobedient child or animal.

The unexpecting Castiel pulled backwards from the sudden contempt in his companion's voice.

"I have found the demon," Cas said in his normal, rough voice, his eyes narrowing in confusion as he spoke.

Dean let out a sigh and with a grin turned to Sam. The two shared a look through which dean voiced a sarcastic _Of course he did!_ which Sam's only response was an emphasized head shake.

"Lead the way," Dean said with the same tone he had in his head, looking at the angel.

Cas's look of confusion stayed, and he turned to Sam, hoping the younger Winchester would supply an answer to his brother's reaction. Unfortunately for him, the only answer he got was a look to the sky, obviously avoiding the situation entirely. Cas only mentally sighed, his brow relaxing as his attention returned to the eldest of the siblings.

He responded to the previous statement with a head nod.

He quickly navigated through the crowd as the morning sun approached its noon setting, the Winchesters briskly and quietly following a few steps behind him. In a matter of minutes the three were standing in front of a tent.

The black trim around the fabric's edges was the only markings on it except a strange eye. It was obvious this was a fortune teller's tent but the symbol was unlike any other county fair seer's mark. Instead of the black circle acting as the pupil ending, a line of black extended past the eye's outline then curved back down almost touching its starting position: a music note, an eighth note to be exact.

Dean and Sam stood a step behind Castiel who stared at the makeshift building.

"You sure this is the place? I don't want to bust in there and scare some old lady and whoever she's scamming," Dean said looking around, searching for any wandering eyes. Even though no one was around his hand went to his knife, the force of protective, paranoid habit showed on Sam who was doing the same with the handgun in his pocket.

"Yes, I feel the presence of a demon," Cas replied without looking back.

Sam and Dean both took steps forward, ready to barge in, but both stopped when an arm shot out in front of them. Cas looked over his shoulder and spoke.

"Perhaps it would be best if I were to go in first and see what is inside. This presence is quite…strange," he suggested.

Sam nodded to Dean who sighed and lowered his hand.

"Okay, go do your fly on the wall thing, but if you get a whiff of trouble you zap yourself out of there," Dean said.

Cas nodded his head and disappeared, leaving the boys to look as casual as possible while standing awkwardly in front of the tent, waiting for their saintly friend to come back from being invisible in the demonic lair two feet away from them.

Yep, just another Tuesday for the Winchesters.

A few minutes went by before the two spoke to each other.

It was Sam who broke the silence.

"He's been in there a while," he told Dean who was looking around the little path that broke off from the main. It seemed like not many people came down this way, but then why would they when all there is is a weird fortune teller, a closed down game tent and a bunch of creepy animal figurines just strewed along an open, grassy area. Down a ways, Dean heard kids laughing and a few parents yelling. In the distance the ding of the hammer game bell rung signaling that some guy just won his sweetheart a giant teddy bear. He took his eyes off the direction of the noise and looked over his shoulder at his brother.

"What'd you say?" he said, not realizing how engrossed he had been in looking out for oncoming trouble.

Sam huffed in irritation, _Just once I would like it if I didn't have to repeat myself._

"Do you think we should go in there?" Sam asked, getting right to the point.

Dean looked at him without answering for a moment, his hand not moving from hovering over the hem of his jacket where the knife was.

_Should we? Cas told us to let him go in first. What if he is overhearing something, getting information on something? Plus he is a demon killing machine, he can handle himself. Then again what if he's been captured? He did say the demon felt strange. What if that meant it was stronger than most or had some sort of weapon?_

_In the one scenario we'd save Cas._

_In the other we'd have one really ticked off angel on our hands._

"Let's go," Dean said, removing the knife from its casing and preparing to attack, deciding that he would rather deal with an angry Cas than an injured Cas.

Sam pulled out his gun, not that it would do much good against a demon other than distract them, but there was only one demon killing knife between the two of them.

The two stepped up to the opening of the tent, so that they were but inches away.

Holding their weapons at ready positions, Dean mouthed to Sam, "One…two…three!"

At the end of the silent counting the two burst into the room and were fairly surprised at what they found.

"Cas?" Dean asked confusedly, keeping his knife up but scrunching his face in bewilderment as he did. Sam kept his gun up as well but wore the same expression as Dean.

The angel looked up from the antique, wooden chair he was sitting in. When the two had burst in his forehead had been resting in the palm of his hand, then, at the sound of his name, he looked up with the most exhausted and goaded look the boys had seen on him.

"Oh there you boys are! I was wondering when you would show up," a young woman's voice sweetly rang in the direction of where Cas was sitting.

Their attention swiftly turned to the desk in front of Castiel, where a young woman, who couldn't have been two years younger than Sam, stood with a smile on her face.

She wore the clothes of a pop star. Her ripped white jeans, black knee high boots and shining purple blouse which ruffled around her neck accentuated the pink stripes in her dark brunette hair as it curled down to the tip of her shoulders. A purple headband pulled the shiny locks out of her face revealing the golden swirls of make up around her deep sapphire eyes, her light pink lipstick matching the little circles of her earrings. On both wrists she wore golden brackets of ringlets which completely covered her tanned wrists. The most glaring part of her attire, despite how hard it might be to believe, was the golden amulet around her neck, adorned with a few rubies and a giant white lotus charm as the center piece of the chain.

She was eccentric looking but beautiful at the same time.

Her eyes held a spark as she looked at them, a bit of glee that showed in her pink grin as well, but also a wise look, a knowing look a sixth grade teacher has when speaking to her class.

Not anything like the other fortune tellers they had encountered.

"Please sit," she politely commanded in a silky voice to the newcomers who stared at her dumbfounded.

"Uh, listen we'd love to but we are sort of busy," Dean said putting his hands up and looking towards the exit. Sam, unmoving, glancing over and nodding in agreement.

"Oh, but please," the woman pouted like a little girl, "let me at least take your reading."

"We really don't have time for this, if you will excuse us and our friend here," Sam said pointing to the unmoving angel who just stared at the two without any comment.

"But don't you want to find out where the demon you're hunting is?" she asked without a hitch in her voice.

Both men, as soon as they heard the word 'demon' sprung back into their battle stances, weapons returning to positions at which they could easily be used.

"How would you know anything about that?" Dean said, a hint of acid lacing his voice as he assumed the only way she could know was she was in fact possessed.

A high pitched giggle, not the maniacal laugh of the spawn of Satan, but the laugh one would have towards a joke, came from her mouth, causing both of them to raise their eyebrows.

"Boys, boys, boys," she said calming from her little laughing fit, her right hand patting her chest as a means to calm herself down. "There's no need for violence here, I am not a demon. Am I Castiel?"

Both pairs of eyes landed on the forgotten comrade. Both were also wondering how she knew his name if she wasn't a demon, and knew that he would be able to tell them if she were or were not a monster.

"She is not the demon," were the only words he said before looking down at the floor as though he were in deep contemplation.

The eyes, now more questioning than before, turned back to the stranger.

"Then how do you know about the demon we are hunting? Are you a hunter?" Sam asked, his tone cautious at the thought. Not all hunters were very good people, at least not the ones they had been encountering lately.

She only smiled and shook her head, the whimsy in her eyes never ceasing.

"Well if you know where it is tell us," Dean said, a little tired of this game.

Her lips scrunched up until they were on one side of her face, as though she were thinking about it. Her mouth relaxed when she began to speak.

"I will tell you about your demon, if you allow me to give each of you a reading," she wagered.

"What?" Sam rhetorically asked.

"We aren't going to pay for some silly scam. Just give us the information and we'll be on our way," Dean commanded, hoping they wouldn't have to pay for the information. He had left his wallet back in the car by accident and he highly doubted Sam had enough money to pay her off alone.

"Nope, not unless you see what I have to show you," she protested in her obviously headstrong ways.

"This was the point we were at before you came in," Cas said from his chair, his exhausted expression now making sense: arguing with this chick was tough.

Dean glanced away from Cas, who had drawn everyone's attention with his comment, to look her in the eyes. Perhaps he could stare her down.

From where Sam was speculating, it appeared his brother was fighting a losing battle.

"Did I mention it is free of charge," she said after staring in the eldest Winchester's gaze for a few moments, her smile large on her small sculpted face.

That was his breaking point.

"Fine," he said frustrated, "Go ahead and do your voodoo, hoodoo, whatever. Read Sam's palm if you like, look into a crystal ball, but afterwards you spill everything you know."

"Oh yay!" she said and began to walk back towards the desk, turning around and pointing towards two empty chairs next to Cas. "Sit, please."

Grumbling in his head about the defeat he had just endured, Dean took the seat in the middle, meaning Sammy had to take the one on the end opposite of Cas.

Not wanting to seem like a pouting child, Dean took this opportunity to look around the room the tent made.

The purple fabric made the walls, and a few woven rugs sprawled across the ground made it seem more like a home, though the bits of grass coming through the area where there was no rug threw that feeling off.

It appeared that the room was separated by the rugs themselves.

On one large rug, about the size of the impala, there was a small bookshelf filled will large texts, though they couldn't really get a good look at what they were about. Pillows of all different colors lined the edges of the carpet, leaving a good portion, the center of the rug, wide open.

The other rug, a deep blue with a light blue trim and white swans at each of the four corners, their beaks pointing towards the center, had the large desk and three chairs, four if counting hers, on top of it. Strange thing about the table in front of them was the fact there were no trinkets on the table. Actually there weren't any objects of any kind that would indicate that this was a seer's domain.

Looking over his shoulder, towards the swan rug corner behind him, Dean saw two things.

A CD player sitting on a small end table with a large chest, so tall it reached her navel and as wide as the tent's doorway, sitting on the ground next to it. She rummaged through the chest, muttering some incoherent words, but also making the cracking sound of moving plastic.

It wasn't until she pulled out a CD case that Dean realized that the chest was full of CDs.

"Umm, guys," Dean said glancing at the other two, but to his surprise they too were watching her with puzzlement.

"Maybe Cher? No that's ridiculous! Beethoven? No, too unreadable… Bowie?" She spoke louder as she picked up a different disk case and then rejected it, setting it back into the case with a care.

After a few moments, she looked over her shoulder, but did not get up from kneeling on the ground next to the chest.

"Sam is to go first right?" she asked suddenly.

"Uh, yeah. I guess," Sam chirped after being taken aback slightly by her abruptness.

She nodded, lips twisting in the concentration way they had done before, and turned back to the chest. She stared down into the contents without moving. The air was still until she jumped up and cheered, "Got it!"

In a blink of an eye she pulled out a CD case, closed the trunk's lid, and had the disk in her hands. She placed it into the player, picked up a black controller and walked over to the other side of the large table where she plopped down into her chair, twisting the player's remote in her hands. The entire time she kept her smile and only looked up at the men when she was fully situated in her chair.

"Now then are we ready to begin?" she asked Sam directly.

He sent her a questioning look with both his eyes and a tilt of his head.

"Um, what exactly is going to begin?" Dean asked sharing a suspicious glance with Cas, who was now leaning forward in his chair.

"Why the reading of course!" she said as though she had just informed him the Earth was round not flat.

"Yeah, okay…but where's the stuff?" he asked with a humorless laugh.

"Stuff? I don't understand? What stuff?" she said her smile falling into a confused line.

"You know the stuff! The crystal ball, the cards, that sort of thing. The stuff," Dean said, his face growing serious, eyes narrowing.

"Oh, that stuff," she giggled out, laughing once more like she heard a good joke.

"Yeah," Sam drawled out, warily looking over at Dean, mentally asking both himself and his brother what they had gotten into.

"I don't use that 'stuff'," she said, her normal grin returning.

"Why not?" Dean asked genuinely confused.

"Because I do not give those types of readings," she stated with a roll of her eyes.

All three men shared a questioning look together.

"Then what readings do you give?" Cas asked, looking at with his head slightly pointed towards the side in an interrogating fashion.

"I give a musical reading," she said in a matter of fact tone. "I give you the gift of your soul through music."

"What?" Dean blurted out, but was silence by a pointed look from the 'soul gifter.'

"You agreed to my terms, do you want to know about the demon or not?" she argued.

The three shared another look before Dean sighed and Sam nodded, signaling for her to begin.

"Great!" she said cheerfully, raised the black plastic in her hand, and pressed the green button causing Sam's song to begin.

**I do not think every chapter will be this long, unless you guys want them to be. But please leave a review and if you want try to guess what Sam's song, or the other two's, will be then leave it in the comments.**

**Thanks to anyone who reads this!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay a guess! And a good one at that! Thanks ****TMK13****! I can totally see Sam's song as a REM song not that you say that, it gave me some ideas, but that wasn't the song thought of before.**

**And Sam's song is….. **

"**Here I Go Again"~ by Whitesnake **

**It's a really awesome, instant classic. Not all of the lines are written if you listen to the song with the story though.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the song "Here I Go Again."**

Sam sent Dean a surprised if not considered wary look as the CD player hummed to life. Dean shifted his eyes, hoping that through that look Sam would relax a little bit.

Sam sighed and lowered his shoulders, instead turning his attention to the young, amused woman smiling directly into his eyes. It was obvious she either didn't care or notice the smug appearance of Dean's own chapped lips.

_This chick's off her rocker _was his only thought, as he sat there waiting for some classical piece to come out. She would probably say it had something to do with his moving soul or how the steady beat held some other sort of nonsense. All they'd have to do is sit here and listen to some boring tunes and then they could leave.

But then it dawned on him.

The reason they were here was for a demon. A demon which Cas followed to this very tent, a demon which had somehow gone missing leaving this non- demonic girl to persuade them to say. How would such an innocent, if a little whacked up, woman know about the demon if she wasn't apart of something.

That thought caused the amused glimmer in his eyes to vanish, his lower jaw to protrude, and his eyelids narrow as if it bettered his vision on the task and the possible enemy before them.

It was just before the first note rang that Sam felt a tingle run from his cervical vertebrae all the way to his knees. His stomach clenched but also opened at the sudden anticipation that rose inside him. _What did she mean by song of his soul?_

Just then the first note was hit on a guitar, followed by a drumbeat.

Dean unexecpectantly whipped his head towards Sam at the familiar sound. His eyes scrunched up first in trying to place the song, but then widened when he realized what it was. He turned to the woman but she only sent him a knowing smile and a sign with her slender finger not to speak, which he followed by closing his mouth, Cas staring at him and the entire scenario with immense confusion.

The instrumental continued in soft harmony, Cas sending an unrecieved look towards Dean and Sam, one of which was confused by what he was hearing. That is until the words began.

_**No I don't know where I am going.**_

The shiver across Sam's spine grew stronger. Suddenly a flash of the impala ran through his mind, but then the feeling of uncertainty did as well. That shiver caused the feeling of being lost and confused that occurred throughout most of his life to resurface within the next three notes.

_**But I sure know where I've been.**_

The feeling went from uncertainty to remembrance as the past, the events which the uncertainty had led to, flooded his mind: the good and the bad.

_**Hanging on the promises in the songs of yesterdays,**_

So much had changed, yet he was still uncertain. He was still fighting to keep a hold of what he had set out to do. Still in the back of his mind he remembered his failures, the people he had let down. On the other hand the flashes of when he saved Dean, when he laughed with Bobby, when he was there for his friends.

_**And I've made up my mind.**_

_**I ain't wasting no more time. Here I go again… here I go again…**_

He hadn't told them yet, not Cas or Dean, but he was going to prove himself. Prove that he could be there, be reliable, but still the memories of the past were clouding his decisions. It always seemed he was chasing to prove himself, every time he would fail miserably.

_**Tho' I keep searching for an answer,**_

_**I never seem to find what I'm looking for.**_

He was always unhappy, always wanting something more, never finding something that satisfied that burning inside of him. Whether it was Stanford, hunting, his unreal destiny with Lucifer, they all ended up with him desiring something more than a black car and his brother, no matter how much he wanted something more, he would never find it.

_**Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on.**_

When he was alone at night, when Dean was asleep, even when they were younger, Sam had always tried to pray although he wasn't entirely sure if there were angels or God at the time. He just wanted to here from someone that everything would be okay. He just wanted to know that he could make everything be okay.

_**Cos' I know what it means,**_

_**To walk along this lonely street of dreams.**_

The guitar and drum set in unison announced the coming chorus.

_**An' here I go again on my own.**_

_**Goin' down the only road I've ever known.**_

He was always running away. He was always leaving people, family, friends, behind. He never gave into anyone fully, he would never let himself.

_**Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.**_

He was always the outsider whether it is with 'normal' people or his family: he was always the odd one.

_**An' I've made up my mind.**_

_**I ain't wasting no more time.**_

The instruments shifted back as the lyrics progressed once more.

_**Just another heart in need of rescue,**_

_**Waiting on love's sweet charity.**_

No matter how many times he saved anyone, he always wondered who was going to save them, Dean and him. He knew that people like them were probably the ones most need of help but no one ever came, if they did they paid the price for it.

_**An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days,**_

'_**Cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.**_

The chorus began once more and the images once more flew through Sam's mind. Running away from his family when he was younger for those two weeks. Arguing with his father about hunting. Going to Standford. The images kept coming even as the chorus broke off into the next sequence.

_**But here I go again.**_

The first time he walked out on Dean during a hunt.

_**Here I go again.**_

When he betrayed his brother and drank the demon's blood. When he released Satan.

_**Here I go again.**_

His time in the cage.

_**Here I go again. Here I go!**_

Moving on while Dean was in Purgatory, his most recent of failures which still stung every time he saw his elder brother look off into the distance, a hint of annoyance edged on his face. Was he annoyed with Sam? With what Sam had or rather hadn't done? The chorus continued looping until its last run through rang out.

_**Cos' I know what it means.**_

_**To walk along the lonely street of dreams.**_

_**And here I go again on my own,**_

_**Goin' down the only road I've ever known.**_

If he was honest himself, he would be surprised if Dean wasn't fed up with him, if everyone wasn't fed up with him.

_**Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.**_

He had always felt like this. He had always been the outsider. He was always chasing the idea of proving himself, and every time he would fail.

The man's voice and music began to fade out Sam's trance held, the memories and feeling stuck with him as small vibrations trailed up his shoulders and wrapped around his neck.

"Sam," Dean said, his eyes not moving from his brother. In fact his eyes hadn't moved off his younger sibling since he started staring at the face of the table. Worry filled the emerald irises as he called out once more, this time reaching out and shaking his shoulder, "Sammy!"

At the sudden touch Sam was jolted from his trance and swiftly turned to Dean, his contemplative look holding.

Dean saw something in his eyes, something deep. He looked so… sadly gone. Dean in return almost withdrew his hand, moving his head back in surprise, but stopped himself quickly realizing somehow the song had indeed affected him. With a reassuring pat on the same shoulder he looked directly into his eyes and spoke.

"Sam," he spoke clearly. Sam was unresponsive, only staring at him with a blank expression. But suddenly it seemed to make him come to life as he swiftly took in a deep breath and shook his head, looking towards the woman, ignoring Dean's confused and worry stare.

"Sorry, I zoned out," he whispered, trying to relax in his own skin as much as he could. He wore no expression on his face, only meeting eyes with the woman for a split second before

"It's okay Sam," she said softly, keeping her smile of assurance. Her comforting words caused his shoulder blades to close as he lifted himself up more in the chair, up to his full sitting height. "Why don't you share what that song made you feel."

Sam's jaw visibly tightened and his eyes, though he tried to stop them, widened. He'd rather not do that.

"I don't know what you mean," Sam said, forcing his eyes to lower and relax his shoulders. Her eloquent smirk told him she knew he was lying, but really why did she want him to explain that?

"What do you mean?" Dean interjected, confusion edged on his face as he asked the question that was already on Sam's mind.

"It is apart of the reading," her eyes moved to the man in the middle.

"What do you mean?" Dean snapped, the confusion making him slightly on edge and perhaps coming off as a tad on the mean side, but frankly he didn't seem to care. Whatever she was saying was obviously unnerving to Sam. _What was she getting at?_

Sam did not look away from her, trying his best to keep an uncaring façade. The woman on the other hand only smile towards the younger Winchester, not a belittling knowing grin that she obviously could have warn, more of a comforting, motherly expression which was unusual for her age. When Sam did not make a move to speak, she decided it was up to her to explain the song's meaning.

Looking Sam in the eyes she said, "It seems that Sam is confused."

"There was an awkward pause before Dean spoke. "What?!"

"Sam do you wish to tell him," she asked raising her eyebrows.

Sam did not move. He wanted to look to Dean and tell him he had no clue what this batty woman was saying, but he was afraid if he did he would be found out. Either Dean or Cas would be able to tell he was lying and he didn't want either of them to find that out. So he just silently stared at the woman, hoping that she would just stop speaking.

Unfortunately that did not seem like it was going to happen, causing her to sigh, frustration barely edged on her breath.

"What the song means to Sam is all his life he has felt like an outsider. He didn't want to become a hunter, but he knew he could never fit in anywhere if he didn't become one. When ever he did try to fit in he always found himself unhappy because either way he was disappointing his family or trying to be something he wasn't. Every moment of his life he has been lost and confused, always going off on his own, always heading down one road and never finding anything to satisfy that mislaid feeling of his. Even when he felt he had a family with his brother or his friends he always knew that he would either disappoint them or drag them down that lost road with him. He says he is fine, he knows that it is prevalent that he is unhappy with the family business but he also knows he is in a much worse depression than he shows," she spoke in one breath ignoring the confused and slightly enlightened faces of the men in front of her. "Am I right Sam?"

Sam tried very hard not to look astonish, but she had hit it right on the mark. So instead of admitting to anything he only asked, "Who are you?"

As the woman shrugged her shoulders and stood up smiling, knowing what had been revealed had been confirmed, Dean looked to his brother with a sudden, surprised sadness. _Is Sam really that depressed? Does he really feel like he doesn't belong in our family?_

Despite his best effort not to Dean couldn't help but feel slightly hurt as Sam did not reveal this to him on his own and was currently staring back at the woman who had taken the CD out of the player and put it back into its case.

Dean just kept that sorrow filled look until he heard the rummaging behind him followed by her voice.

"Dean," she beckoned, he could tell by the sound of her voice she was smiling. "It's your turn."

**Can anyone guess what Dean's song is? Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this took so long, my laptop broke **

**But it's fixed now! **

**Thanks for all the nice comments everyone. And Dean's song is…**

**Five for Fighting~ "Superman (It's Not Easy)"**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or Superman (It's Not Easy)**

If what had been revealed hadn't been brought to light, Dean would have made a snarky quip about how he knew his song was going to be a Led Zeppelin hit, but after hearing about his brother's apparent depression the only thing on his mind was wanting to talk to him about it. He didn't even care that it made him seem like a touchy feely sorta of guy: if his brother was really depressed they needed to talk about it.

He looked towards Sam, hoping to catch some shimmer of what was just said in his eyes, but Sam just nonchalantly played with the hem of his light shirt. Dean thought he could perhaps start to talk about here and was about to speak but the music player came to life once more.

Just as the first _tisk tisk _of the symbol hit, the woman was in her chair, hands interlocked on the table, a knowing smile now taking its rightful place.

The beginning _tisk tisk _sounds of the song continued and Sam turned to Dean, knowing the song. Dean, in the first moment that he met Sam's eyes, wanted to comfort him for what was revealed before, but the feeling was lost as Sam looked like he was trying to remember something. That is when Dean realized the inevitable, his brother knew the song. The guy who knows fairy princess stories and opera knew this song: that can't be good.

Just then a piano started to play, the symbol continued on as the piano played a very slow melody that can only be described as melancholy. Dean felt something start in his stomach then rise up to his chest, a feeling that made him want to just wrap his arms around himself. Not that he did, but the feeling was so strong, it was like the notes were reaching into him, making him to feel a type of home hitting sorrow. It was also then that Dean felt he knew the song as well, he just couldn't place where though. A guitar started in the background and then the first line of the song came from a guy's mouth.

_**I can't stand to fly.**_

Right from that line, Dean felt the feeling in his stomach and chest tighten.

_**I'm not that naïve.**_

_**I'm just out to find, the better part of me.**_

The feeling clenched around his very being as a familiar thought crowded into his mind. It was a feeling he often got when he was saving people or helping his brother or Cas or even just doing something for himself, something that most people don't have to do for themselves. Most times he never got a thank you from those he helped, most of the time his friends and his brother did, but the strangers barely thanked him. But he knew not to expect it; he was doing this for the greater good.

As the man sang the next line the music seemed to lighten and grow all at once.

_**I'm more than a bird.**_

_**I'm more than a plane, I'm more than some pretty face besides a train.**_

He realized who the words were speaking of, but Dean couldn't help but compare himself to the comic book hero. He is always there to help others, to save people, never being able to be more, never able to go off the tracks, all he could ever do is be the hero. When he tried to stop he was the reason people were hurt, and when he went back, he was the reason people were hurt. Couldn't he be more than the hero? Couldn't he be what he wanted?

_**And it's not easy… to be me.**_

He made it seem that he loved his job, but every now and again he would think that he was barely doing anything with his life. But he had to be strong, for the people, for Sam, for everyone. There was no break from his façade.

The symbol was hit lightly and the music grew even more, a cracking sounded being added in the background.

_**I wish that I could cry.**_

_**Fall upon my knees.**_

Sometimes he just wished that he could break down, that he didn't have to be strong 24/7.

_**Find a way to lie… bout' a home I'll never see.**_

It was something he never told anyone, he wouldn't really admit it to himself, but he wished they had a home. He wished he had a place that he could protect and be 100% certain that there was no way they'd ever have to leave. But the truth was he knew deep down that the places he calls home are short lived. They are just fooling themselves when they believe they have a sense of home.

A violin played with the melody as the beginning of a new chorus started.

_**It may sound absurd, but don't be naïve.**_

_**Even heroes have the right to bleed.**_

_**I may be disturbed, but what you can see.**_

_**Even heroes have the right to dream.**_

Everyone expects so much from him, him and Sam. No one gives them the chance to hurt, the chance to want. They are soldiers, and a soldier has to be tough.

_**And it's not easy to be me.**_

Dean felt his heart squeeze at that line and how true it really was. His life was hard, a hard mess.

The music seemed to completely shift as the drums took the lead and the guy's tone went deeper. The music growing and decreasing when he did.

_**Up, up, and away, away from me!**_

_**Well, it's alright!**_

_**You can all sleep sound, tonight.**_

_**I'm not crazy…**_

_**Or anything.**_

He was still always there to protect everyone, even if he wanted to stop he knew now that he couldn't. He was in fact drawn to it, and couldn't help being there. Perhaps he was crazy for that reason.

The music softened to its original melody once more.

_**I can't stand to fly.**_

_**I'm not that naïve.**_

_**Men weren't meant to ride,**_

_**With clouds between their knees!**_

The hero isn't suppose to be like this, not suppose to live like this. The hero is suppose to live like this. The hero was suppose to be given the recognition, the double, normal life and get the girl. Perhaps he isn't the hero. He is just a man who does heroic things. Heroic men do not get the hero perks.

The music powered up as the man sang.

_**I'm only a man in a silly red sheet.**_

_**Digging for kryptonite on this one way street.**_

How he wished he could just stop hunting, always looking for something that could hurt him or his family just to go hunt down one more dangerous thing.

_**Only a man in a falling red sheet.**_

_**Looking for special things inside of me.**_

The man continued to repeat that verse, "special things inside of me," several times making Dean realize just how desperate he was about wanting to find something about him that made him special, that made it so he made a difference in someone's life. That he would make a difference in this world so he is missed by more than just his brother.

Then the music raged on once more.

_**I'm only a man in a funny red sheet.**_

_**I'm only a man looking for a dream.**_

He still searches for that thing that would make him important to people, but in the end he always comes up short.

_**I'm only a man in a funny red sheet.**_

_**And it's not easy… **_

A shiver, similar to the one Sam felt, went down Dean's back as the music quieted and slowed so it was silent for a split second until the man's voice was all that could be heard.

_**It's not easy… to be… me.**_

The piano was the only instrument that played till the end, playing the slow beginning notes that it had before. Then the song was over. Dean felt those last words hold around his heart as he realized now how hard he actually felt he had it.

Unlike Sam though, he looked up right away, regretting it as the woman's grin was the first thing he saw, causing him to glare almost involuntary. Trying to escape the woman's watchful eye he looked over at his brother. Unfortunately Sam was looking at him with as much concern as Dean had with him. In order to escape both of them Dean settled into looking at the table. Gosh why did this have to be so weird.

nvoluntary./e first thing he saw, causing him to glare almost invouln're dangerous thing.

t the girl. anything with his life.

Without asking him to explain, probably realizing that none of these men were goanna open up even if it was obvious what they were feeling, she began to speak, Dean refusing to look up as she did so.

"Dean feels as though he is living a life that he rather not be living. He believes he is moving along this life trying to make something happen that will be good, but it is never good enough because there is always more evil. He realizes he has a hard life, a life that he believes is worthless because in all honesty he is leaving nothing behind. No one but a select few will remember him and even fewer appreciate him. He puts up a front for his family and friends, never allowing his distain for his job to show because if he does he is afraid that then the one thing he does well will become worthless too," she said with the same motherly smile as before.

Dean refused to show how shocked he was at how right the woman was. _How on Earth did she know that?_ But a thought in the back of his mind worried him. If what she said about him was correct then what she had about Sam had also been correct.

Sam was looking at his big brother with a look of unease and surprise. He never realized that Dean had thought his life was completely worthless. Sure he was always willing to sacrifice himself for the common good, but did he really think that he didn't make an impact on the world, that what he does means nothing. To Sam, Dean had always been the tough, stone confident big brother he could always look up (not literally) to, but who did Dean have to look up to? Sure Sam was always there to comfort anything that was bothering him, but who did Dean have that would tell him that he is worth something to people besides Sam or Cas? _Do I not tell him enough how important he is to me?_

There was a moment of pure silence, where Sam just stared at Dean who had gone back at glaring at the woman. The silence was broken by the sound of her chair being moved back and her standing up.

"Right, now then," she began.

The boys followed her gaze, looking at her with a sense of confusion. _What is she doing?_

That was until they met eyes with Cas, who had been so silent this entire time that they had glossed over the fact that he was also there.

Unlike the Winchesters, the angel wasn't looking towards the woman, but instead at them. His head was turned as he had that searching look of his on, a frown and squinted eyes, like he was trying to read their thoughts. Both were wondering why he had been so silent this entire time, realizing that he probably didn't understand fully what they really felt due to his lack of humanity, when the woman spoke behind them.

"Hmmm, what is Castiel's song?"

**Can you guys guess what Cas's song is?! Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Woo! Castiel's song! **

***I swear I'm not trying to be ironic.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or this song, (which is **_**Demons~ **_**by Imagine Dragons).**

**Please enjoy everyone!**

Within the last hour, Castiel hadn't spoken really. That wasn't per say unusual for the ancient celestial, he was quite the silent observer, but something inside of him had been building up as his two friends had been giving their readings. He couldn't help but feel concern for what had been supposedly revealed, which, by the way the two humans reacted to the woman's suggestions, had been proven true.

He had watched as Sam listened to the words and notes of the song, he seemed to be in an almost trance like state of mind. The angel could see a look in his eyes; it was the look of a confused person. Cas had wanted to reach out to the man, to tell him something, but really what could he say? He didn't quite know how to console someone in distress, but that didn't mean he couldn't see Sam was in it.

Then there was Dean. The words of the second song seemed to have had the same affect on the elder brother as well. Still Cas did not say anything to him, which made Cas feel inadequate to say the least.

Who was this woman? She obviously wasn't human, but neither was she demon. He could determine that, but anything beyond those species seemed to have been masked in a shroud which couldn't be revealed to an angel.

The woman, whoever she may be, had revealed truths about his companions, truths which he had been concerned about already.

Sam felt lost and confused; never knowing which way was right and where he belonged. He still felt he needed to prove himself. And Dean, Dean still thought his life was meaningless, still believed he wasn't making a difference if he couldn't save everyone. Cas wanted so badly to reach out to the young men. He wanted to say _something_, anything, but he didn't know how to go about doing so.

Instead he only stared, concern evident on his face. That is until he heard her voice.

"Hmmm, what is Castiel's song?" she asked back by the music.

It was then that Cas registered the fact that the Winchesters had caught him staring, so he moved his gaze to the woman, the Winchesters' eyes following as well. Cas was berating his gawking habits in his head, realizing how that may have been confusing for the boys, when he realized something about the woman who was rummaging through CD's shaking her head at certain ones she picked up. _Does she think she is going to give me a reading?_

Just at that moment the woman looked up, looking as though she was going to say something but stopped when she saw the look on Cas's face. Her mouth closed for a second before readjusting into a smile once more.

"Oh, Castiel do not give me that look," she said in a motherly tone, causing the Winchesters to glance away from her and towards their friend, wondering what look she was speaking of. When they glanced over they didn't see any special look, it was just his normal expression he wore when he tried to figure a person, thing or anything really out. Why would she berate him for that look? 

"You know as well as I do, that you do have a pure soul, therefore I _can_ give you a reading. Don't jump to such conclusions. An angel's essence is just as valuable as a human's soul," she spoke the last words softly before rummaging through the chest once more, leaving surprised looks on the two humans present.

The brothers shared a look, what did she mean by that. They looked towards Cas, looking for some sort of answer, but he only continued to stare at the woman with a look of pure concentration. Although…his eyes turned downward at her knowing tone, as though he didn't truly believe what she said.

They didn't have time to dwell on the fact as she started speaking once more.

"No, that won't work," she mumbled to herself, drawing all attention on her once more. With a clink the CD hit the other cases of plastic at the bottom of the chest. She repeated the process with four more CD's, each one being discarded the same way, before she looked up with another grin, a case in hand.

"I found it!" with a near excited giggle she practically skipped to the player, despite the looks of confusion she was receiving. Before anyone could blink she was in the chair looking like a kid with an ice cream cone.

Cas did not look towards the boys, despite how they were intently watching him, instead he looked straight ahead, towards the woman.

Dean and Sam could have been described as both concerned and a tad interested in the situation. _If these songs can describe souls, then what on Earth will Cas's be? What song can describe an angel's soul?_

Before anymore thought could be given about the subject, the music player came to life.

Castiel didn't know what to expect when the song would begin. He hadn't really listened to any music except for what the Winchesters listened to, and most of what they liked sounded all the same to him. But for a moment, before the music played or any words were sung, he felt something inside him shift. It felt like he and the world around him were still for a second, as though everything and everyone knew something was about to begin. He couldn't explain it, but it was very similar to the feeling he received before a battle or an attack took place. It was an uneasy feeling. Then the singer's voice rang the first lines followed by a bell like instrument.

_**When the days are cold**_

_**And the cards all fold.**_

_**When the saints we see are all made of gold.**_

As he took in every word that the man sung, the uneasy feeling began to weld up deeper inside him. Within those beginning words he could already feel what presence the song was beginning to take form. The angels were already coming to mind, how they were considered righteous and the source of good by both themselves and humanity. In a way they were held of great value, seen as a prestigious good: like gold.

The music started to pick up as the man's voice continued.

_**When your dreams all fail**_

_**And the one we hail are the worst of all.**_

_**And the blood's run stale.**_

The feeling still bubbled away, gnawing its way to his chest. Another, more familiar feeling also began to join up inside him. Angels didn't dream, but they knew the desires of man were horrid. Cas knew the ideals of angels were even worse. To angels, men were atrocious, pitiful creatures that they were forced to protect. To most of them, humanity was a species undeserving of what the angels and God give them. A while back Cas hadn't thought so differently, but now he knew those ideals were mistaken. Still when he had thought in such a way, when he was without a real sense of 'humanity'…how many innocent lives had he been willing to sacrifice in order to just to rid the world of yet another problem.

A guitar began to play along with the melody.

_**I wanna hide the truth.**_

_**I wanna shelter you.**_

An image of Sam and Dean and even Bobby flashed through his mind, though the celestial did not dare to look directly at the present two. It was an unusual concept, but somewhere in his mind, Cas felt as though he didn't want to admit to it, despite how obvious it may have seem to the boys. That is what they are to him: boys.

He was much, much older than the two men sitting next to him, the men who called him family. Their entire lifespan was the equivalent to a minute of his. Someday they would be gone, out of his life, and he would be alone once more not even being able to return to his angelic family. He had been a rebel; he had gone against those he had stood by all on the chance to have a home, for just a short while, with his new friends. They had changed his immortal life forever, and yet…they still knew so little about him. He had hidden so much of himself from them. Truth be told he didn't want them to know all of the horrible things he had done, he didn't want them to hate him. He didn't want to lose them: not yet.

_**But with the beast inside there's no where we can hide.**_

He knew the day was coming. Soon they would find out, soon they would know his past, or they would be hurt when he wasn't there to protect them. They were going to leave him either by choice or death and either way the blame would fall on him. Either way he is no better than the monsters that they hunt or the demons whose plans they foil. Either way he would eventually hurt them in some way.

_**No matter what we breed,**_

_**We still are made of greed.**_

Once more the angels came to mind, his past self included, perhaps even his current. They always spoke of morals, of trying to do what was right for humanity and what their father wanted them to do, but were they honest? Was he honest? Perhaps everything they and he have done had just been for self gain and protection. Perhaps it wasn't humanity who was weak, but them.

_**This is my kingdom come.**_

_**This is my kingdom come.**_

His eyes closed a bit at this part as a pane of guilt struck at his very core. Everything bad that happens to him or his friends is his fault and he deserves it. He deserves the guilt and the pain. If he wasn't there to protect his friends then it is his fault. If they are hurt he is at culpability. Even if they say it isn't, he will only agree so they do not offer words of condolence. He deserves to feel the edge of guilt alone. Besides, even the mistakes he did before, the ones they do not know about, are worse only to the ones that he has done in front of them. He had hurt them, badly, and that shame will never leave him as long as he has any form of consciousness.

Drums kicked in, signaling the chorus and an entire band erupted. And with the instruments explosion that feeling that had been welding up came with it.

_**When you feel my heat**_

_**Look into my eyes.**_

_**It's where my demons hide.**_

_**It's where my demons hide.**_

Despite how much he wished it, how much he tried not to, he wanted someone to see the pain in his eyes, to notice the guilt that laid there. He wanted someone to know the things he had done, to forgive him, despite how little he deserved it and how unlikely it was.

_**Don't get to close,**_

_**It's dark inside.**_

_**It's where my demons hide.**_

_**It's where my demons hide.**_

Even then he realized that those who would see his mistakes, who knew all of the things he had done, the lives he had destroyed, the innocents who had to suffer for the 'greater good', those he had killed in a 'worthy battle', would find the truth in his eyes to be appalling, to be something of disgust and fear. He thought Dean and Sam had seen that darkness in his eyes, had realized the monster he truly was, but at the end of the day they would look into those same eyes with a smile and call him _friend _or even _family_.

He didn't deserve that.

The music dropped back to its same level of softness as in the beginning.

_**At the curtain's call,**_

_**It's the last of all.**_

_**When the lights fade out all the sinners crawl.**_

At the end of the day he wasn't their friend or their family. At the end of the day it was all a show, a mask he had put on, a mask he wanted so badly to be his real face. It was only when he wasn't with them, when the light and happiness they brought him was snuffed out by the darkened truth.

_**So they dug your grave,**_

_**And the masquerade,**_

_**Will come calling out at the mess you've made.**_

He had no where to go without them. He was nothing but a rebellious angel. His life was a mess. Everywhere he went he created a mess. It seemed that even when he was younger, before he even was thinking about free will or even humanity, he was a depressing mess. Perhaps he truly was the 'Angel of Sorrow'. Everywhere he went he brought sadness with him. Even the one good thing in his life, his new family, he had almost messed up on countless occasions. Perhaps he was the angel who as his redheaded friend once described as not knowing what was right and never could.

The string instrument rang out once more.

_**Don't want to let you down, **_

_**But I am Hell bound.**_

Despite the ironic deal he, an angel of the lord, had made with a demon, he hadn't felt bad for doing so. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he already felt that he was living in a place of anguish. Heaven and Earth felt no different than the place below. In all three places there were lies, heartache, wars, loss, and all three places felt the same amount of torturous to Cas. Weather it be the Devil's pit, his home, Purgatory, or even Earth there was no escape for the angel: he was always living in his own form of Hell.

_**Though this is all for you,**_

_**Don't wanna hide the truth.**_

_**No matter what we greed,**_

_**We still are made of greed.**_

_**This is my kingdom come.**_

_**This is my kingdom come.**_

That desire of comfort, that desire to be consoled, to be loved, even liked by those around him, despite what has done, despite what he was, yearned to be fulfilled. But he hid that feeling for his friends sake and even his own. He didn't deserve to want anything of that measure. If he were he would be like his selfish brethren. He had made his bed and now he was going to live through it without dragging others down with him.

Another hit of the drum brought in another round of the main chorus.

Even as he sat in the chair he was hoping, praying practically, that Sam and Dean were not watching him. He didn't deserve their pity nor did they deserve to be bogged down with his issues. He saw how strong they had been, how they had changed him over time. He might have had a greater bond with Dean, but the youngest Winchester was his family as well. They were both his family. He had only known them for a short period of time, but in truth they were his family. He didn't care if it made him sound like a lower being, if he had betrayed his heavenly family for saying so. The Winchesters were his family.

And he would never hurt his family again.

All the instruments but the drum and the man singing dropped out as the song continued.

_**They say it's what you make,**_

_**I say it's up to fate.**_

_**It's woven in my soul,**_

_**I need to let you go.**_

They always spoke to him of going against destiny, having free will, and he believed them…for the most part. Truth is he always knew one thing that would stand against that rule. He knew, despite whatever precautions he took, they would be hurt. He knew it deep down, since the moment he rebelled for them and their concepts. He never knew how far this would go, how much he would actually gain, but one thing he did know was they were going to be hurt by him in some form. Perhaps it would just be better if he were to leave them now. He knew that it would be the only true way to save them pain at his hands.

_**Your eyes they shine so bright, **_

_**I wanna save that light.**_

He saw their innocence. Their youth. Their humanity. Despite what they thought, despite all the actions they had done that were considered 'wrong', despite how tired they always seemed, they were still so full of life. He was jeopardizing that just by hanging around them. A twitch of his lips could destroy that glimmer of theirs in an instant, and yet he tries with every fiber of his being to protect that fragile beam.

_**I can't escape this now…**_

Only the man's voice rang out.

_**Unless you show me how!**_

Why did they choose him? Sure he was the one who ultimately made the choice to stick with them, but why would they pick such a broken soul to change, to be apart of their family? Was it perhaps they saw something similar to their own shine of hope in his eyes? If they had, he certainly hadn't seen it. Then again perhaps it was because his was dull in comparison to what he saw in their eyes. They had been showing him how to gain his free will, how to be a friend and apart of a family ever since they met him. It was the only way he was ever going to be different from those like him. It was the only way he was ever going to escape anything bad he had ever done.

Just then the other instruments kicked in for the chorus once more.

_**When you feel my heat**_

_**Look into my eyes.**_

_**It's where my demons hide.**_

_**It's where my demons hide.**_

How many people were hurt because of him? How many times had he hurt those he cared for? How many mistakes had he made? His eyes truly did hold demons, terrible memories that would never leave.

_**Don't get to close,**_

_**It's dark inside.**_

_**It's where my demons hide.**_

_**It's where my demons hide.**_

He hoped that no one, especially his friends would ever have to see the darkness that truly was his soul.

No one should ever endure that many demons all at once.

The music cut off abruptly, leaving only the last echo of the last verse as it bounced around in his head. That uneasy feeling from before seemed to echo as well as he continued to stare at the wooden table before him, obviously still lost in thought and oblivious to the 3 pairs of eyes on him.

The more concerned two were wide and noticeably confused.

Dean and Sam didn't quite grasp the entirety of what each verse meant, but they seemed to, at least they thought they had, get the basic idea. Cas felt as though he had his own demons, that he had made his mistakes. But what mistakes would make him feel like that?

The two boys thought back to the mistakes their friend had made, Sam thinking of the deal with Crowley and Dean of the pain he was put through in Purgatory, but they had forgiven him for those. Did he think they were still mad at him? That he was guilty of a crime? To be honest, they didn't even realize their inhuman friend could feel such emotions and for that reason they were quite baffled at the thought.

It seemed that the woman had read their minds because she began to reveal the angel's reading.

"Castiel," she started out softly speaking to the celestial directly, ignoring the questioning looks of his comrades. He didn't look up from the table, he was lost deep in his thoughts, not realizing the circumstances surrounding him. It wasn't until he sensed something near him that he looked up, just in time to see Dean's hand a few centimeters from his right shoulder. The man had reached out to draw his friend out of his dugout, but when their eyes met the trench coat wearing man turned towards the woman, puzzling Dean in the process. Why was he refusing to meet eyes?

_Is Cas…embarrassed?_ Dean didn't have time to question it further as the woman, who realized she had gained the attention she desired, began to speak.

"I know you do not want me to reveal what you are thinking, but let me offer some advice," she continued with her speech gaining his full attention, but the brothers were both switching their gaze between their friend and the stranger. As she spoke they both saw a visible shift in Cas as his shoulder blades tightened, his fists clenched, and his gaze seemed to narrow, yet his eyes looked like a dog, a begging animal. His stature showed that he was tense, as though he was preparing for an onslaught or attack, it almost caused the boys to tense as well due to the sole fact that they knew Cas was well more aware of danger then they were. If he was ready for an attack then they should be as well.

But his eyes told a different story, told them that it wasn't actually dangerous.

His eyes looked sad, almost broken. Actually they looked like the eyes of a man on the verge of breaking. As he stared at the woman he looked like he was pleading with her, what for was unknown to them, but whatever it was it was obvious he desperately wanted it. He desperately needed something from her. It wasn't a look they ever expected to see on the stoic warrior. Never before had he seemed so weak.

In return her gaze held an understanding look but no pity. Her eyes showed that she acknowledged his pleading, but they also established that she wasn't going to give into what he asked. That he didn't deserve to make demands? No it was more he shouldn't make such a demand… he didn't need to make such a demand. He didn't need to appeal.

Her eyes seemed to hold so much. It was bizarre.

"Come now, you must have more faith," she said as though the two had been having a silent, mental conversation with their eyes. Perhaps they had been. Still her words seemed to offer little comfort as his look still seemed to be shouting 'Please don't!'

Despite how much he was dying to know what was bothering the man, Sam looked towards Dean, just catching his eyes, sending him a look urging him to stop the woman from speaking. It was obvious Cas did not want this to be revealed. Dean seemed to agree but before he even looked back at the woman she was already talking again.

"As you very well know, Castiel is an angel," she began, a hint of guiltiness playing in her eyes. It was clear she didn't enjoy making the man feel uncomfortable, still she continued, "And has lived for many years."

"Stop," he said sternly, that pleading look seeming to have multiple with those six words. He knew what was coming, what was going to be revealed, and the angel didn't want to be alone, not yet. "Please."

He didn't realize it but with that demand he caused even more of an interest to spark in the two sitting next to him.

_So this has something to do with what he has done in his life? Before he met us_, the two realized simultaneously. They looked at him with concern. What could possibly make him act this way? What could he have done that is so bad that he was practically begging for her to not bring it up?

He did not dare look at the two next to him, knowing if he did he would crack. All he could do was beseech with the mysterious woman before him. Still she continued and his eyes did not waver.

"And in those years he has done many things. He has killed, he has tortured, and he has battled. He was, as he now seems them to be, another arrogant angel solider who was killing for the sake of God's will and the good of humanity. That is until you came along and showed him the different life he could lead," she stated directly towards the Winchesters.

In return they sent her and their companion even more perplexed expressions. They knew this. Why was she reiterating this?

Maybe he could just get up, leave and they would follow him? Or perhaps he could just zap him and the brothers somewhere else? But Cas realized that even then they now knew he had a secret, a secret that he didn't want to be revealed. The damage was already done.

"But what you don't know," she continued, interrupting their bewilderment, "Is he fears of the time when he will lose the two of you. You have become his family, the ones he can rely on, the ones he cares for. But he knows he will lose you one day, that you'll be gone, that he will have no one, and that the fact is inevitable. He will be alone, faced with the rest of eternity. He has accepted it, although he is still trying to work around that natural law. He only worries how soon he will loose you and how. He hopes it won't be for a long time, until you are both well in your older years, it won't be that long of time for him, but longer than the alternative. But he knows how unlikely that option is."

"There is also the possibility that he will lose you due to your work and in that case he is the only one to blame because he wouldn't be able to protect you. He believes that anytime either of you have been hurt or will be is due to his incompetence. He is always filled with guilt, regret for actions he has committed, mistakes he has made. He already knows he has hurt you because of his inability to find the right path to take," she said that line with a sad, knowing look towards both the younger and older Winchesters.

_How could she possibly know about that?_ But Sam decided to come back to that later because he saw the way his friend's shoulders had slumped when she had spoken. They had forgiven him. He had acknowledged that he was forgiven. _Does he still feel guilty?_

"Probably the course he is most afraid of is to lose you because you'll find out the truth. He tries to hide it from you, afraid that it will corrupt you and cause him to lose the only family he has left," she said returning her gaze to Cas's.

"What truth?" Dean interrupted her speech, unable to stay quiet for much longer. She looked at the elder Winchester for a second sharing a surprised glance before looking back the angel.

"How many years did you spend thinking you were far better than humanity? How long did you allow souls to suffer in order for you to move up in Heaven's ranks? How many innocent lives have paid the price of God's will, Castiel?" She asked without any conviction in her voice. Instead she spoke quietly, like a preschool teacher asking a student to say the alphabet. "How many people have you hurt?"

It was like Cas was a light, he was barely alive as he pleaded for the woman to stop talking, but with that question he finally burnt out. At that question the look in his eyes broke as his shoulders fell completely, his head swinging almost violently downwards to look at his feet. Those words broke Cas.

**Okay everyone! Thanks for reading! Come back and find out what happens next if you want to. All of you are amazing people!**


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